10 of the Greatest Closing Lines in Literature

English literature has always amazed us with its calibre of turning simple words into beautiful sentiments. It has left us with sentences full of deep connotations and myriad emotions. What strikes us the most is how we end a book. The way the author finishes their piece of magnificence has a lasting impression on us. Many define books by virtue of their closing lines. So let us retrospect and admire some of the most iconic last words in literature.

40 Ways To Irritate People

I bet we’ve all had times in our life when we just want to annoy the hell out of people, as a result of good or bad mood. But more often than not, we fall short of methods to vex them and end up annoyed ourselves. So, to aid you in your next great endeavour
to irritate, here are some inflammatory, hilarious and surefire ways to guarantee success:

1. Reply to everything someone says with “That’s what you think.”
   If this doesn’t annoy them, then they are crazy. That’s what I think.
2. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
   Oh My God, this will be so so so humiliating.
3. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
   Do this if you ever want to be slapped by a family member.
4. Stand on a busy corner. Gasp, look and point up. See how many people look.
   Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara, thank you.
5. Throw newspapers back at paperboys.
   “HOW DARE YOU THROW THIS AT ME!? HERE’S MY REVENGE!”
6. Move people’s bookmarks ahead three pages when they aren’t looking.
   Do this when you want to annoy me.
7. Bark like a dog whenever anyone says the word “the.”
   Farhan Akhtar in ZNMD will never speak again after this.
8. Loudly recite people’s most embarrassing secrets in restaurants.
   “HEY DUDE, REMEMBER WHEN YOU SLIPPED IN THE TOILET OF THAT TRAIN AND DIDN’T HAVE ANY SANITIZER? YOU MADE A MESS OF EATING DINNER.”
9. Speak so quietly that people always have to get you to repeat it.
   “Sorry, what?” “Again, sorry?” “Still can’t get you?” “OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SPEAK LOUDLY!”
10. Pretend you have gone completely deaf.
    Do this if someone is doing 9. to you. It will completely backfire on them.
11. Throw stones at people walking past your house.
    But be sure to cover yourself up when they hit them back.
12. Pick your ear wax and ask if you could use their sleeve to wipe it off.
    If you want to convince them, tell them their shirt will have a unique, added texture to it.
13. Sample every flavour of ice cream and tell the clerk what you don’t like about each one.
    Warning: No one will ever serve you ice cream again, so beware of that.
14. Call into work and tell them you have something better to do today.
    “You’re fired.”
15. When talking to someone, look at a spot about two inches to their right.
    Try this, and you’ll know just how vexing this is.
16. Say to people, “Did you wear deodorant today?”
    …and then notice the shade of red that their face turns into.
17. As people talk, smell their shoulders.
    Sniff sniff. “Dude, what the hell are you doing?” Sniff sniff.
18. Never make eye contact.
    
19. Never break eye contact.
    
20. ‘Forget’ the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a “real hoot.”
    “Trust me, you would have laughed your head off… if only I had remembered what it was. Well, sorry for the last half hour.”
21. Repeat everything someone says.
    Repeat everything someone says.
22. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
    Repeat everything someone says, as a question?
    
23. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
    …and then arrange for your funeral.
24. Tell people their accent isn’t fooling anyone.
    I assure you, everyone will certainly be piqued by this.
25. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
26. type only in lowercase.
27. dont use any punctuation
    This will annoy me, 100%. Don’t*, by the way.
28. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
    “Wait, how am I supposed to see the next page?”
29. Honk and wave to strangers.
    BEEP BEEP! “HEYYYYYYY! HOW HAVE YOU BEEN LONG TIME NO SEE!”
    “Uh, who are you?”
30. Sing along at the opera.
    To people staring at you: “What, it’s just noise! I can do that too.”
31. Ask people what gender they are.
    “I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name gender?”
32. Stand over someone’s shoulder, mumbling as they read.
    Be ready for that incoming slap, though.
33. Call Pizza Hut for home delivery and ask for the number of Domino’s.
    Because Domino’s > Pizza Hut. Always.
34. Eat a McDonald’s burger at Burger King.
    Because McDonald’s > Burger King. Always.
35. Drink Pepsi in a Coke factory.
    Because Pepsi > Coke. Always.
36. Fit a carrot in a car’s silencer, or puncture its tires.
    Believe me, the pleasure in doing that to an annoying person is immeasurable.
37. Dab Fevicol on someone’s face while they are sleeping.
    “Oh, why do I feel so, uh, sticky?” (Though I personally would enjoy picking off new skin off my face.)
38. Call someone urgently on a serious note, and when they hurriedly come to you, whisper in their ear, “Nothing.”
    Now, I’m sure we’ve all done that, haven’t we?
39. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
    …and hope the security guard has a good time.
40. Say all your sentences backwards.
    Backwards sentences your all say.

This comes from an iOS app called ‘101 Ways to Annoy People in an Elevator’. This makes me wonder whether making such apps is another way to just irritate people.

15 Funny Words in English Language

You know how they say that English is a funny language? It’s true. It is funny. It really is. We’ve all heard the clichéd comparisons of the pronunciations of ‘to’ and ‘go’ and all that, haven’t we? But how many funny words have we heard in English? Well, here’s a list of 15 funny English words, or word meanings, that ought to make you laugh. So sit back, and guffaw.

1. Erinaceous: Someone who resembles a hedgehog.
   That guy’s face was erinaceous.
2. Flibbertigibbet: A frivolous, flighty, or excessively talkative person.
   She turned from a flibbertigibbet to a cautious mother.
3. Nudiustertian: The day before yesterday.
   I went to London nudiustertian and came back yesterday.
4. Nincompoop: A foolish or stupid person.
   Only a nincompoop would play in such a horrid weather.
5. Fuddy-duddy: A person who is very old-fashioned and pompous; conservative.
   Quit being such a fuddy-duddy and lighten up.
6. Hullabaloo: A commotion; a fuss.
   There was a big hullabaloo after the match ended as the crowd entered the ground.
7. Wishy-washy: Watery (food or drink); feeble or insipid in character
   My friend is so wishy-washy, he can’t even choose what movie to watch on a Friday night.
8. Batrachomyomachy: Making a mountain out of a molehill.
   This problem has become a batrachomyomachy.
9. Smellfungus: A perpetual pessimist; one who complains a lot.
   She was a smellfungus when it came to smelly fungus.
10. Sialoquent: To spit, or spray saliva, while speaking.
    The sialoquent professor could not understand why his pupils would not sit in the front row of the lecture hall.
11. Oocephalus: An egghead; a highly academic or studious person
    Our class topper is a freaking oocephalus.
12. La-di-da: An interjection indicating that something is pretentious.
    You’re enough to make a fellow drunk with your la-di-da behavior.
13. Mumpsimus: An outdated and unreasonable position on an issue.
    He still holds to the old mumpsimus that a woman’s place is in the kitchen.
14. Namby-pamby: Lacking energy, strength, or courage; weak or ineffectual.
    He was a good boy, a namby-pamby, who kept the place assigned to him
15. Goombah: An associate or accomplice, especially a senior member of a criminal gang.
    A friend helps you move; a goombah helps you move the bodies.

So there you go. These were just fifteen out of hundreds of funny English words. Of course, there may be funnier words out there. If you find any, feel free to leave them in the comments section. Till then, to end this on a comic note, too-da-loo.

Top 60 Greatest Puns of All Time

Don’t you just LOVE puns? The pleasure of reading a cleverly constructed sentence meant for our humour cannot be stressed enough. It is so much pun. I’m sorry. It is so much fun. Well, moving on from my incredibly lame attempt at punning, let’s have a look at the 60 greatest puns of all time. These are not ranked in order to avoid conflicting opinions. (High-five if you got the pun!) They are a compilation of the best puns around. Anyway, read on, I hope you have pun. Fun. Sorry.

1. So what if I don’t know what apocalypse means!? It’s not the end of the world!
2. I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
3. How did I escape Iraq? Iran.
4. My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned: couldn’t concentrate.
5. You’re living, you occupy space, and you have mass. You matter.
6. What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs? A condescending con descending.
7. A man walks into a zoo, where the only animal was a dog. It was a shitzu.
8. My math teacher called me average. How mean!
9. Why do they call they call it a ‘cheque’? Why not Yugoslavian?
10. People who say they suffer from constipation are full of shit.
11. Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant. Dirty Bastards.
12. If Apple made a car, would it have windows?
13. I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
14. Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth, then it just becomes a soap opera.
15. Did you hear about the man whose left side was paralysed? He’s all right now.
16. I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
17. He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
18. My friend’s bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.
19. I don’t trust these stairs because they’re always up to something.
20. The fattest knight at king Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
21. Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
22. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
23. When William joined the army he disliked the phrase ‘Fire at will’.
24. I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
25. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing – but it let out a little whine.
26. There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn’t control his pupils.
27. What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire.
28. I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words.
29. I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech’ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter ‘Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite’.
30. The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up
31. I relish the fact that you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup to me.
32. I was struggling to figure out how lightning works, and then it struck me.
33. The girl quit her job at the doughnut factory because she was fed up with the hole business.
34. Always trust a glue salesman. They tend to stick to their word.
35. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat says to the other, ‘You stay here, I’ll go on a head.’.
36. I was going to buy a book on phobias, but I was afraid it wouldn’t help me.
37. Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.
38. What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead giveaway).
39. The first time I used an elevator it was really uplifting, then it let me down.
40. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
41. Some people’s noses and feet are built backwards: their feet smell and their noses run.
42. Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point?
43. The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
44. Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too.
45. Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-salted.
46. People are choosing cremation over traditional burial. It shows that they are thinking out of the box.
47. “What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, they waved.”
    “Are you shore?”
    “Haha, anyway water you doing”?
    “Just fishing around.”
48. What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison.
49. I break into song if I can’t find the right key.
50. What did the angry cake say? You want a piece of me!?
51. What did the zoo sign say? “Frog parking only, all others will be toad.”
52. It’s gonna be legen- and I hope you’re not lactose intolerant because the second-half of that word is ‘dairy’.
53. What does a house wear? A dress.
54. Two antennae were on a roof. They fell in love and got married. The service wasn’t great, but the reception was excellent.
55. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
56. A dyslexic poet writes inverse
57. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One says to the other, ‘Dam!’
58. A few years ago, we had Bobby Cash, Johnny Hope and Steve Jobs. But now, we have no cash, no hope and no jobs.
59. I tried to come up with a pun about famous German philosophers, but I. Kant.
    And now, my all-time favourite pun:
60. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Ranking DJ Earworm’s ‘United State of Pop’ Mashups So Far

Jordan Roseman, better known as DJ Earworm, is an American who I truly owe a lot to. He releases a mashup every year, which contains the best songs of the year, all ‘mashed up’ into one incredible soundtrack. He calls this series of mashups ‘United State of Pop’ and has been releasing them since 2007. Originally, they were a mix of the Top 25 songs on the Billboard Hot 100 year-end charts. But later, the songs stopped following the charts. Honestly speaking, you will never hear any song with as diverse features as these. I promise you, you all will be hooked to these tracks once you start listening to them. These are my rankings of the mashups, from good to better to best.

10. United State of Pop 2015: 50 Shades of Pop

2015’s mashup, and my least favourite one. Unlike earlier editions, this song is less about dance and more about soft music. And, also unlike earlier editions, this was the first mashup that used the Top 50 Songs instead of the Top 25. This mix has a retro touch to it, highlighted by songs by The Weeknd. Yet, the ending is saved by Adele’s Hello, which makes it an overall average song.

9. USP 2007 (The Original)

2007 was a great year for music. With hits like Rihanna’s Umbrella, the Akon and Eminem collaboration Smack That and Avril Lavigne’s Girlfriend, this mashup was sure to be brilliant. It’s a fascinating mix, but it does not have a flow. The genre of the song keeps changing time to time. But still, a great track and a promising debut.

8. United State of Pop 2016: Into Pieces

Into Pieces is the latest mashup by DJ Earworm, making it the tenth overall. This Is What You Came For by Cavin Harris and Rihanna serves as the foundation for the track, with repetitive instrumental choruses of Chainsmokers’s Closer. The track has a good feel to it, and Earworm this time followed his older tradition of using 25 songs. The whole song is balanced on one level. This mashup is not fantastic, but just the songs that were used elevate its quality.

7. USP 2009: Blame It On The Pop

With heavy usage of The Black Eyed Peas’ I Gotta Feeling and Boom Boom Pow, and Jay Sean’s Down, this upbeat number really lifts your spirits up. This was his third mashup and was a huge hit on the charts. This was the first of his mashups to actually become a dance track.

6. USP 2008: Viva La Pop

This song leaves you in what you’d call a trance. The beats, the tunes, the rhythm, the tempo: everything numbs your mind and soothes you, and I think everyone will agree to that. The instrumental track being Coldplay’s Viva La Vida, it really does leave you dazed. Viva La Pop is a terrific record.

5. USP 2014: Do What You Wanna Do

The title of this track comes from Animals by Maroon 5. This is an exciting track, similar to USP 2008, with a generally groovy melody that consolidates all the blockbuster songs of the year into a single marvellous song. The songs All Of Me, Fancy, and Habits (Stay High) are largely used in the chorus, along with the aforementioned Animals.

4. USP 2010: Don’t Stop The Pop

With the instrumental music mostly belonging to Eminem’s Love The Way You Lie, and the emphasis on TiK ToK and DJ Got Us Falling In Love, DJ Earworm certainly got us falling in love with 2010’s mashup. (I know, this line was super cheesy, but I couldn’t resist.) This is seriously a flawless mashup.

3. USP 2011: World Go Boom

This mix lays a heavy emphasis on Bruno Mars’s Grenade, Britney Spear’s Till The World Ends, and Rihanna’s We Found Love. The clever usage of lyrics in this mashup is particularly outstanding. The way the lyrics of different songs have been integrated to form new and meaningful lyrics is astounding and, at the same time, commendable. This was the first time that the Billboard year-end chart was not followed.

2. USP 2013: Living The Fantasy

The great thing about this song is its softness. Roseman’s previous mashups were all dance tracks. But this year, he toned it down and decreased the influence of EDM. He described it as ‘a little darker-themed’ mix, and this is a mesmerising record. It chiefly surrounds Lorde’s Royals, Miley Cyrus’s hits We Can’t Stop and Wrecking Ball, and Swedish House Mafia’s Don’t You Worry Child.

1. USP 2012: Shine Brighter

Oh. My. God. This mashup is undoubtedly the best of the lot. It is centred heavily by Rihanna’s Diamonds and fun.’s We Are Young. Like 2011, the lyrics have been fused brilliantly. The low-tempo verse gradually builds up to a high-beat chorus, and this blend of rhythms is a masterstroke. The song is insanely catchy, and the tune is magical. Personally, I think 2012 produced the best music since this series of mashups began, and that music has been so beautifully crafted together by DJ Earworm, that you will truly go bananas on the repeat button.